


For the heart I once had

by Ignis_Fatuus



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Budding Love, Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, Developing Relationship, During Canon, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn, also Larxene lives, but Axel got it memorized at first sight, some chapters have specific content warnings, tags will be updated as I write, the initial chapters are written from Axel's POV, this is actually the slowest burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:35:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23722447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ignis_Fatuus/pseuds/Ignis_Fatuus
Summary: It's been five minutes and Roxas has already turned my world upside down.
Relationships: Axel & Roxas & Xion, Axel/Larxene, Axel/Roxas
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, Soraaly here! Hope you are all doing great!
> 
> Today I bring something I honestly just finished on a whim... because I was craving some soft feels, and my mind immediately jumped to these two. It's a very spontaneous series I'm starting, and different from everything I've written so far. I actually never wrote in first person, but somehow I feel like it suits Axel really well? And I still dunno if I'll make it a full-on continuous work or just a collection of moments of Axel and Roxas together - but, for the time being, I hope you enjoy it ^^
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> EDIT: As of chapter 6, the fic is written in third person.

Looks like it’s a big day, today – new member coming in. I heard rumors of it, Saïx and Marluxia discussing something big about to happen when I slipped out through the dark corridor to get my mission done. And, honestly? Didn’t really interest me much, even if I got curious. We’re a weird bunch, not exactly the most sociable of companions… ‘Cause, ya know, it’s kinda hard to get those emotions going when you lack something in your chest to feel them with. Sometimes, I ask myself if the humans always gotta deal with this feeling of never being too excited about anything, never feeling truly accomplished – or if they never consider it at all. Because they are complete, unlike us. Because they have a heart.

Sometimes, I also tell myself that this whole heart thing is just too much hassle. Maybe it’s not even that good, anyway. Maybe it’s not even worth the effort. But, heck… it’s not like I have anything better to do, or anywhere else to be – so I go along with it. Whatever. Point is, I’m not really that interested in meeting this new member and I’m not going out of my way to find them. It’s gonna happen if we get assigned to missions together, or next time Lord Xemnas calls up on us for a big meeting, or if we bump into each other randomly around the castle. That’s good enough for me.

Or so I thought, till I returned from the mission.

“What the heck is wrong with that kid?”

Xigbar being his usual delightful self isn’t really what stops me from going to my room, rather what he’s saying – since when do we have kids around? So I look over my shoulder, just in time to catch a knowing look from Saïx.

“He’ll need some time to get used to the Organization. We all did.”

“Yeah, except I never acted like I’m dead in the brain. He won’t even talk!”

Well, my interest is definitely darting up. Is this about the new member?

“He will. And if he doesn’t, that’s not important. We need his Keyblade, not his voice.”

…Wait, what? Did I get that memorized right? Keyblade?? Okay, I admit defeat… I’m suddenly super interested in this mystery new member. So I approach Saïx, just as Xigbar walks away still grumbling to himself.

“Hey… what do you mean, Keyblade?”

Now Saïx looks very proud of himself. Almost like he expects me to congratulate him for what he’s about to say. “His name is Roxas.”

“The new guy, right? And he can use a Keyblade??”

“We’re still gathering information, but he was found whilst holding one. Vexen says that, if he can summon it, he must be able to use it.”

I have to whistle in awe, now. Don’t get me wrong, I have zero patience for Vexen’s obsession with his research and what not, but if he somehow found a Nobody who can wield a Keyblade… then this is gonna change a lot for us. It’s gonna change everything.

“What’s that Xigbar was saying, that he doesn’t talk?”

“Vexen says he must have been born very recently, that’s probably why. All he’s done so far is to stare at us, and I’m not even sure if he understands what we tell him… But it’s a chance we cannot let go to waste. Do you know what this means, Axel?”

Yeah, I know… it means our drama of collecting hearts might be suddenly, magically solved. It means we’ll be able to forge that Kingdom Hearts thing that Lord Xemnas keeps talking about – saying it’s gonna make us complete. Is it really gonna be that easy, or are we all just celebrating ahead of time? Not that I ever was too good at weighing the consequences of my actions, let alone try to do Xemnas’ big plans for him, so soon I’m patting Saïx’s shoulder and leaving with a _catch ya later_ – but, unlike my original intention, I don’t head for my bedroom. Instead, I stop by this new member’s room and knock on the door. Heck, all this gossip really got me curious… and, since there’s no reply, I’m bold enough to open the door myself and take a peek inside.

“Hey… mind if I come in for a chat?”

Of course, I don’t wait for his reply and walk in anyway. But then I find myself half-frozen in place for the second time in the past five minutes… because this new member isn’t anything at all like what I expected. Well, I don’t really know what I expected… but I guess I expected someone around my age – which, now that I think about it, was probably stupid considering that Xigbar kept calling him a kid. But I didn’t expect him to be _this_ young, that’s for sure. Young and short and skinny… he looks almost too delicate to be a Nobody. Too docile, with this golden hair and big doe eyes in the color of the sky. Saïx must have already gotten him one of our cloaks, because he’s wearing one that’s clearly too large for him and will need adjustments, but it kinda looks wrong on him – not because it’s too big, but because he doesn’t look like someone who belongs with the Darkness. Realizing I’m staring like an idiot, though, I walk further in and close the door behind me, and sit besides him on the bed.

“Name’s Axel, get it memorized. Nice to meet ya.”

No response – again, I dunno why I expected any different. He looks even younger from up close, and for a moment I’m not sure if he’s heard me or, like Saïx was saying, if he can understand me… but, after a few seconds, there’s a reaction. He looks up and looks at me in a way that, somehow, sends a chill down my spine. Not that he’s scary… there’s nothing scary about this boy, but it’s certainly different from everything I’ve seen before in the Organization. Most of us stick together because we have to… we have a common goal. This doesn’t really make us friends, it only means we have to tolerate each other for the sake of a bigger purpose. I like some of them better, some of them less, but I can’t really say I’m close to any of them. Maybe Saïx is the closest thing I have to a friend – or a companion, that’s probably a better word. But Saïx never made me feel like this boy just did… and the worst part is, I don’t even know what it is that he’s making me feel. I just know that I’m feeling, and I’m not used to feeling. I’m not _supposed_ to be feeling, what am I even feeling with?

“Huh… Roxas, right? That’s your name?”

Again, no response. Does he even know his own name? Did someone just decide this was a good name for him, ‘cause we gotta call him something? And, really… were we all like this, when we were born? I don’t have many memories of those days, maybe that’s why… but I really can’t imagine know-it-all Vexen ever not knowing everything about everything, or sassball Larxene ever not being sassy, or lazy bum Demyx ever not carrying that sitar of his everywhere. Maybe it’s actually better I don’t remember, if I ever truly was like Roxas… He looks so defenseless, so helpless, and I refuse to believe I was ever like this. Us, Nobodies, we’re not supposed to feel – and we’re also not supposed to depend on anyone else. Who would we depend on, when we’re not even supposed to be?

“Anyway – I’ll call you Roxas, ‘cause that’s what everyone’s calling you. So, Roxas… you planning on doing something with your day, or just mope here and stare at a wall?”

Why I’m trying so hard to make chit-chat with this kid is beyond me. I could brag about it later, that I was the only one able to make him speak… but, honestly? It’s not that. It’s just that he looks so… so vulnerable. Saïx said he can probably use the Keyblade, so maybe he can actually kick my ass and I’m not aware of it, but he doesn’t look it at all. All he looks is lost and confused, and there’s something in these big blue eyes of his that make my chest feel like it’s being squeezed. I really don’t want him to be this lonely, and I really don’t want the others to come bug him – which now confuses ME, because usually I’m always one of the first to bug everyone else.

It’s been five minutes and Roxas has already turned my world upside down.

“’Cause, ya know… I was thinking of going out for some ice cream.” Actually, I was thinking of going straight to my room – it was the gossip at the common room that distracted me, and now I’m here trying to make friends with a baby zombie. Saying dumb shit like talking about ice cream when he probably doesn’t even–

“Ice… cream…?”

–Oh. So he _can_ talk. He did just talk, he just talked _to me_! Now it’s my eyes that are wide and it’s me looking like the unresponsive zombie, because I haven’t a clue how I managed this miracle. I was just about to give up and say goodbye and go mind my own business, but it’s like ice cream was the magic word – maybe he really likes it? Maybe he never had it before? It’s kinda hard to tell, because his expression is still the same… except now he’s not staring blankly at the wall anymore. Now, he’s staring at me. Still kinda blankly, but you know what, it’s progress. I’ll take it.

“Ice cream! Best one out there, you’ll see. C’me on, we’ll be out and back in before anyone even notices you’re missing.”

It’s likely that we’ll have that meeting today, so that Lord Xemnas can tell us all we have a new member and how this is so good for our goals and yada yada… and it’ll be a good thing that said new member is around to be introduced, rather than MIA because someone took him away to eat ice cream atop a clock tower. But, hey… I’m already grabbing one of his hands, hidden underneath the oversized black sleeve. It’s been five minutes and I’ve already decided – if I gotta get into trouble because of Roxas, I will. Got this one memorized, for sure.


	2. Day 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, Soraaly here! Hope you are all great!
> 
> So, first of all... I updated the way this fic is gonna be going - it's no longer part of a series, and it's now a regular fic with multiple chapters. This is because I wasn't so sure what I wanted out of it, when I started, but now I've organized myself a bit better. Not that these changes affect anything but I wanted to put this down anyway :D
> 
> There's something else I didn't really mention when I started writing, but that's becoming more apparent in this second chapter and will continue to be like this: this is mostly a canon-compliant fic, taking place during 358/2 Days (for now, anyway), but there will be some canon divergence. Which I won't spoil, obviously, but you'll see what I mean as you read. I will also be throwing in my own headcanons and interpretation, especially about Axel's past (or Lea's, should I say).
> 
> I think that's about it for now? Thank you for your patience and thank you for your interest ♡
> 
> Happy reading!

“It’s really salty… but sweet, too.”

I still don’t get how his memory works – ‘cause, most the time, it seems to not work at all. He’s told me exactly this same thing a week ago, when we came here for the first time, but he doesn’t seem to remember even being here. Trying to teach him the names of everyone in the Organization wasn’t really a success, either… so I guess it makes _me_ special, that he got mine memorized? Then again, I’m the only one who’s bothered with him so far. I know that’s gonna change, now that Saïx will start tossing him into actual missions, but that doesn’t count. All this past week, I’ve not been with him ‘cause we gotta go collect hearts or fight some bigass Heartless. I’ve been with Roxas because I want to.

“Ain’t it good? Eat up, before it melts.”

I feel like I have to explain everything to him, even what’s supposed to be obvious. Your ice cream will melt in the sun, you’ll soak your clothes if you touch that water fountain, you’ll be cold in your sleep if you don’t cover yourself at night. Surprisingly, this doesn’t annoy me at all. Maybe ‘cause I can see it is genuine… that he really doesn’t know any better, he’s taking all this in for the first time. It’s been a week and he’s still the same baby zombie, but there’s some progress too. Hey, I got him to talk every now and then, at least – actual sentences, rather than just repeating words. I got him to go out of his room and explore around the castle – even if at first I was always close behind, or else I know for a fact he would’ve gotten lost. And I got him to ask questions about what he doesn’t know or understand.

“Why is it so cold?”

…Yeah, questions like this one. Questions so simple that, half the time, I dunno what to answer with. Somehow, I really like the way he can make these simple things look like such big achievements.

“Well – it _is_ made of ice.”

“It makes my tongue tingle.”

This one makes me laugh – I also really like the way he describes things. He looks at everything and everyone like he’s seeing it for the first time… and he looks at it without malice. Without suspicion. Without expecting to be screwed over, without having to hold back or to be defensive. Guess I’m jealous of this much but, at the same time, it bugs me that it’s eventually gonna burst – this bubble of innocence. Sooner than later, something or someone is gonna show him how ugly this world actually is, and that’s probably gonna be for his own good. Still, I find myself wanting to prevent it for as long as I can. The day something or someone makes Roxas upset is the day I’m gonna be pissed. And, usually, something or someone burns when I’m pissed.

“Y’know, it started for real, today.”

“What?”

“You, being a part of the Organization. You’re one of us, now. You’re gonna have to do what you’re told to do – what Lord Xemnas needs you to do.”

Another thing I really like about him is that you can so easily read everything on his face. What he’s thinking, what he’s feeling… well, not what he’s feeling ‘cause he can’t feel, but you know what I mean. He’s like an open book and, right now, I can see that he doesn’t have a true grasp on what I just said. Of what it really implies, to be a member of the Organization. To be Number XIII, the Keyblade’s chosen one. Ain’t it funny, that we’re all depending so much on the baby zombie? Saïx has huge expectations of him, which means he’s gonna have little margin for mistakes. He’s gonna be given tough mission after tough mission, as soon as he’s ready for them.

“Will it be like today?”

“No… today was a walk in the park, really. It’s gonna get tricky, from here on. We’re gonna teach you everything – how to fight the Heartless, how to collect hearts, how to explore and do recon, all of that. Then, when you’re good at it, you’ll start doing it on your own.”

The sudden change in his expression is something I wasn’t prepared for. Was that too much, should I have let him enjoy this peace and quiet while it lasts, instead of worrying about the future? But it’s not fear that I see in these big, doe eyes… I think it’s surprise, more than anything else. Surprise and… is that disappointment?

“On my own?”

“Yeah. But don’t worry, we’ll–“

“What about you, Axel?”

“…Me?”

“I thought I’d be doing missions with you. Like today.”

Catch _me_ surprised, now. Catching me staring at him like an idiot for the longest time, with the ice cream stick in my mouth – absently chewing on it as I chew on my thoughts at the same time. So… his being upset just now is because he thought he’d be with me all the time? Upset because he can’t be with me all the time?

“Huh… we’ll have more missions together, yeah. During these first weeks, I bet Saïx won’t be sending you alone, anyway… but it’s not always gonna be with me.”

“Oh.”

I’m now staring at a frown, and it’s the same as staring at a puppy after I stole his bowl of treats – and I don’t know how to deal with it, so I chew on the stick some more in hope it’ll somehow pry actual intelligent words out of my mouth. I didn’t expect Roxas to be upset for being away from me… just like I didn’t expect him to remember my name. And just like I didn’t expect him to talk to me, last week. For all his obliviousness, it’s like he has a talent to catch me off guard.

“Are you upset about being with the others? I know they’re not awesome like me, but hey – they’re not that bad, you’ll see.” What would I do, without humor for a coping mechanism?

“I’m not upset about them.”

“Then?”

His pause shows me that he’s also considering what to say next, and suddenly I’m relieved I’m not the only one fumbling for words, here – even if he does have the excuse of being only one week old and what not. Actually, now that I pay attention… half the ice cream did melt, leaving his black gloves in a sticky mess. Black gloves, black pants, black cloak, black boots, black everything – just like mine, just like all of us. Finally in the right size for his small stature, but I still think it looks wrong on him. There’s too much light in Roxas for all this black. As he keeps musing, I reach over to swiftly remove the icky gloves and tuck them away in one of my pockets. We’ll get all this cleaned when we’re back, no big deal.

Something else I hadn’t expected at first, and something else I really like, is that his hands are always so warm.

“I just… thought we’d be always like this.”

“Like what?”

“Together.”

No single word should have the power to make my heart skip beats like this – if nothing else, because I don’t have one. But there’s something about the way he just said _together_ that I can’t explain… something that feels as warm as his hands.

“We won’t always be in missions together,” and I savor this same word like I never spoke it before, like I never before understood its true meaning, “but we can work around it.”

One week ago, I decided I wouldn’t care if I had to get into trouble for Roxas.

This much hasn’t changed.

“How ‘bout this… Every day, after a mission, we’ll meet here – right here, on top of the station’s clock tower. Doesn’t matter if you had a mission with me or with someone else or on your own. We’ll meet here and we’ll have ice cream. Together.”

Nobodies can’t get sick from too much ice cream, right? Guess I’ll be finding out soon enough. This whole ice cream thing is something I do every now and then, like once a week or maybe once every two weeks… ‘cause I like the way it tastes, and that’s it. Gotta give kudos to the humans and the things they create when it’s due. I come here, I eat sea-salt ice cream, I watch the sun setting – alone. Being alone never bothered me before and it’s not like it bothers me now, but… doing this together with him sounds like a nice habit I can get into. And the fact that _he_ seems so eager about being together gives it a whole new special flavor, no pun intended. It’s gonna be the icing on the cake of the icing on the cake.

“So, how do ya like it?”

“Every day?”

“Yeah! I mean… if there’s a day you won’t wanna come here, that’s fine too. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” There won’t be any choosing about missions, I might as well let him have this much. Though, for some reason, I know I’m gonna be disappointed if one day he chooses not to come here. …He’s not even agreed to it yet and I’m already hoping it’s gonna go my way, what the hell is wrong with me? Hoping is for humans.

“Good. Every day, then.”

Hoping is for humans, yet now that he agreed to it – it’s like someone released a horde of butterflies to fly around in my belly. Maybe I’m already getting sick from all the ice cream, in advance. Maybe I’m getting sick from all the Roxas…? Somehow, that doesn’t sound too bad at all.

But I really gotta say something smart and salvage my reputation. And quick.

“Good! Though, tomorrow, you can’t let it melt all over you.”

Good enough. If nothing else, it just put a smile on his lips… and I’m realizing this is also the first time I see his smile. Didn’t even know he could smile, really – when he’s not staring blankly like he’s thinking about the meaning of life and the mysteries of the universe, he’s frowning about one thing or the other that he doesn’t understand. Am I the only person who’s made him smile, so far? Well, the only Nobody. We’re not persons, even if his smile is very much begging to differ. I never saw a Nobody smiling like this… so genuinely. So much like it’s a heartfelt smile.

“I won’t.”

“C’mon, then. It’s about time we went back, I don’t want Saïx to think I lost you in a dark alleyway somewhere during your very first mission.”

“That wouldn’t be nice…”

There he goes again, taking everything literally and confusing himself. It’s my turn to smile, as I get up to dust off the back of my cloak and open the dark corridor for us to return to the castle – holding my hand out to help him along.

“I hope you’ll never lose me anywhere, Axel.”

I really like how warm his hand feels on mine.

Or maybe I just really like to be with Roxas.


	3. Day 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, Soraaly here! Hope everyone is well!
> 
> For today's chapter, I got a couple comments to make. First of all, trying my best to not spoil anything, but be aware that this chapter contains a nudity scene - nothing explicit happens, but this makes it borderline nsfw so be warned beforehand! The other comment is down there at the end of the chapter notes, so I'll see you guys there ♡
> 
> Happy reading!

Sensing and feeling are two different things – this is one of the first lessons a Nobody learns. You need a heart only for one of them, and the other is free to enjoy. Things like the melodies Demyx insists on plucking out of his sitar, Larxene’s screeching when she’s annoyed (or, should I say – every damn day), Marluxia and that scent of flowers he always carries along, the vivid blue of Saïx’s hair, the smooth leather of our coats… and, of course, the flavor of sea-salt ice cream and a hot shower after a long day of fulfilling whatever the Organization demanded this time. Not that I have much to complain about, because today was simple enough for me – just to go out and burn away a handful of pesky Heartless.

But I’m gonna complain anyway.

Just because I can.

Complaining is one of those things you lose the hang of, if you don’t do it often.

Actually, there is one very specific thing I can complain of: that, despite our promise of sorts, this is the fifth day in a row that I couldn’t meet with Roxas for ice cream. I expected these initial days to be kinda light on his end, considering Saïx is still making sure the baby zombie learns what he’s supposed to be doing… but, clearly, they’re already squeezing all the juice out of our precious Keyblade wielder.

The day right after our chat, I waited for Roxas atop the clocktower, for some good two hours – but he never showed up. Even after that, once I returned to the castle, I was told he was still out with Marluxia, learning the fine art of defeating the Heartless in order to collect the hearts they leave behind. Big deal, if you ask me. You burn them to ash and that’s it. But, of course, Marluxia has to make poetry out of everything, and I thought that’s probably why they were so late.

The day after that, Roxas didn’t show up, either. That time, I blamed Zexion for it – Zexion and his perfectionism, his obsession with considering every little detail and never knowing when to stop. To be honest, I even found myself mocking his _the Organization rewards hard workers_ little speech. Okay, yeah, maybe that was childish of me… ask me if I care. I had to blame _someone_ , or else I might have to start considering that maybe Roxas just doesn’t really wanna hang out with me.

Which I would never consider, of course.

Even if that was true, who cares?

You need a heart to care.

There was one thing I cared about, though, and it came the day after that – when I realized Roxas was about to be paired up with Larxene for the day. Trust me, you don’t wanna be paired up with Larxene, ever. Even if the other option is to go and build Kingdom Hearts with your own bare hands. I tried to talk Saïx out of it, but that didn’t really work out – she’s the best-suited Organization member to teach Roxas how to use magic, blah blah blah. Bullshit, that’s what that was. _I_ could have taught him just fine. I’m just as good with fire as she is with thunder.

On the other hand… I was definitely convinced we’d hang out that day, if nothing else because anyone needs a bucket of ice cream after a whole day with Larxene. Or maybe a bucket of hard liquor. Or both. But, again, no Roxas. When I returned to the castle, I actually realized Larxene had been there for a good while, since their mission was finished rather fast and she RTCd immediately. Soooooo… yeah. That’s also when I realized it might be in my best interest to get that one memorized – that Roxas really wasn’t in the mood for it. And, well… what was I gonna do about it? Nothing. What could I even do, anyway? Grab him by a leg and drag him there, and shove an ice cream in his hands? That wouldn’t be fun at all.

If I stayed all this time without a baby zombie in my life (Life? Maybe existence is a better word?), then I could go back to it. No big deal. The good thing about not having a heart is that you also have nothing that can be broken.

Not that I would ever be heartbroken, anyway.

This is why, when yesterday Vexen hauled off with Roxas to teach him the basics of doing recon, I didn’t bother anymore. I didn’t expect anything for later, and I didn’t show up at the station tower, either. If Roxas was out working his little butt off and making the Organization proud, then good for him. Good for Xemnas. Good for all of us, eventually. And, if perhaps he found something better to do, other than hanging out with me… good for him, as well.

Who cares, right?

The only thing I care about, right now, is this hot shower. Hot water is definitely not as thrilling as fire, but it’s a good enough replacement when you need to scrub yourself clean. It’s also good when you need to just chill and get stuff out of your mind and forget everything that is annoying you though it shouldn’t… And being so into it, it’s also the story of how I forgot about the rest of the world and nearly had heart failure (figure of speech, of course) when a very familiar voice suddenly called my name.

“Axel?”

I’m not even kidding, it’s really just made me jump in place and I guess I should call myself lucky that I didn’t end up slipping and bashing my skull open somewhere. I’m pretty sure Nobodies can’t die from a fall in the shower, but that still would have sucked.

“Roxas…?” But, yeah, back to the topic. …Did he really just walk into my bathroom?? “What– what are you doing here?”

“You weren’t in your room. I heard the water running and this door is open, so I walked in.”

It’s amazing, and a little bit unnerving, how, after less than a week of not talking, I’m caught off guard all over again by how blunt he can be. Of course the door is open, I never bother to close it… because, one, I never expect anyone to come into my room anyway and, two, I much less expect someone to walk in on me during a shower. Each of us, in the Organization, has their room with the respective bathroom attached, and that’s it. We don’t visit each other, we don’t mingle. But here is the baby zombie, bending the rules of common sense as easily as ever… and I honestly hate myself for it right now, but there’s suddenly the stupid urge to smile and laugh rising in my chest. As if I’m happy that Roxas came to find me. As if I missed him.

…Wow, now I sound just like Xigbar. Maybe I really did hit my head and didn’t notice.

“Hang on–“

First things first, I turn around to look at him. The Organization isn’t big on curtains or anything of the like, because it’s not like we have anything to hide nor do we have the capacity to feel shame. And I almost jump in place for the second time in the past minute, because… now I do look at Roxas, and I don’t like what I see. There’s a big bruise spreading at the side of his face, and another by his jaw that ends in an also bruised, swollen bottom lip.

“What the hell happened to you?”

“I was out doing my mission with Lexaeus.”

“And a Heartless did this?”

“No, it was Lexaeus.”

“What… Why?? Why would he attack you?”

“He said I had to learn to use my limit break… and, for that, I’d to be critically wounded.”

It’s the official day of my jaw dropping to the floor, clearly. Leave it to Lexaeus to take the _critically wounded_ part on his own, but… Trying to ignore how clumsy my hands suddenly are, I shut the water and step out of the shower, quickly making my way over to Roxas – also ignoring the fact I’m dripping water everywhere.

“Are you all right, Roxas?”

“Yes. I finished the mission.”

“That’s… not what I meant.”

If nothing else, the confused stare he gives me in response to this shows that he’s still himself – so none of this should be too serious, right? I’d be downright horrified if, somehow, Lexaeus had hit him so hard that now he wasn’t a baby zombie anymore. Still, I don’t like that it happened and I don’t like that neither of them bothered with a Potion or two, once the stupid mission was over. Taking Roxas’ hand (it’s still as warm as usual, so this is also probably a good sign), I bring him back over to the bedroom and make him sit on my bed.

“Didn’t Larxene teach you how to use Cure spells?”

“She said… if I wanted to heal, I should do it myself. And Lexaeus said I should count on myself only, instead of asking things of others.”

Thanks a lot, Saïx. You are definitely picking the best mentors for each lesson. Shaking my head, I heave a deep sigh but keep these thoughts to myself. It’s not my job to question Lord Xemnas’ right-hand man, after all. Or right-hand Nobody. Whatever. I’ll teach him Cure spells myself, and that’s it. And I’ll buy him a whole bag of Potions, if I have to. Placing my hand on top of his head, I release the wave of healing energy and soon the bruises are fading entirely.

“Whoa… how did you do that?”

“I’ll teach you soon, don’t worry… Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, much better. Thanks Axel!”

How can I not smile, despite my still very justified annoyance?

He’s touching his face with eyes wide in awe, over the spots that must’ve been throbbing just a second ago, as if trying to convince himself this is real… like I just pulled some kind of miracle, when in truth to me it’s so easy that I barely gave it any thought. I dunno how it works for feelings but, with sensations, you eventually grow numb to them if you experience them too much and too often. Pain is a perfect example.

Have I mentioned that I have moments of being really jealous of Roxas?

So many things that I wish I could experience for the first time, again. So many things that I wish gave me some kind of… joy. Hell, even some kind of pain that lingers and makes sense. Some kind of sentiment in general. Some kind of feeling alive. Nobody problems, am I right? Which is why, watching him be so… so captivated by even the simplest things, I really wish I could be the same. Watching him be like this, I could almost believe he has a heart.

“Can’t leave you alone for five minutes, can I?”

“I’ve been doing missions every day, but Saïx never tells me to go with you.”

“Well, yeah… told ya that it’d probably be the case. That’s why–“ _That’s why we agreed on the whole ice cream thing_ , I almost say, _the thing you’ve been ditching all week_ , I almost add, but thankfully my pride holds it back. But, much to my surprise, it comes out anyway – though not from me.

“You’ve been very busy with your own missions, right? That’s why you can’t go to the clocktower.”

…Wait, what. Isn’t this the other way around? “Huh… I _have_ been there. Every day, once I’m done, I go there. I mean, today I actually didn’t… or yesterday, but. The other days, I always went there.”

“You did…? But I didn’t see you.”

Is he meaning to tell me he _hasn’t_ been ditching me? That… somehow, we just missed each other? We went there at different times? “Roxas, have you… been going there?”

“Yes, we said we would. Every day, after the missions are done. I was there just now, I waited for a while but you didn’t show up… so I came back. Just like the other days.”

“Wait, wait! Hold up! I’ve been going there too, and I never see you… and, when I RTC and I ask around, it always turns out that you’re still out.”

Suddenly, he looks like he was just caught doing something bad, and I kinda wanna punch myself for putting this expression on his face. Let’s just say diplomacy isn’t my best talent, and I probably sounded more accusing than I meant to… It’s not like he owes me anything, anyway.

“Zexion… he said I shouldn’t return immediately, just because I’m done with a mission. He said I should always want to improve and do better, for the good of the Organization. And Marluxia… said I’m special. That everyone has high hopes for me.”

“And that’s why you’ve been working late every day?”

“Yes.”

“And… after that, you go to the clocktower?”

“Yes. We said we would.”

We did say we would… and we have been, both of us. Not just me, as I believed. Roxas has been going there as well, every day, even though those two idiots have already brainwashed him into thinking he has to carry the Organization on his back. Even though he’s been staying out till nightfall, he’s still been going there. Even today, after Lexaeus hurt him like that, he went there – because we said we would.

For someone without a heart, I sure suddenly feel a ball of weight in my chest.

So I take a seat beside him on the bed and nonchalantly flop back with my arms spread open, never mind the fact I’m gonna get the covers soaked. And he’s now peering down at me, with that usual confused puppy expression he has, as if I didn’t just accuse him of things he actually never did and isn’t to blame for.

“Axel? Are you all right?”

“Mhmm.” I just feel really stupid, right now. And angry – at all of them and at myself.

“I’m sorry it’s been taking me so long to get there. I’ll try to be faster tomorrow, so we can meet.”

…Why is _he_ even apologizing? I sit up again, so fast that we almost smack heads, and grab his shoulders maybe a bit too enthusiastically, but hell with it all. This is unfair, I feel stupid, I feel incredibly relieved at the same time, I want to apologize but the words are caught at the back of my throat in a tangle worse than my hair must be, at this point.

“Roxas… you don’t have to be sorry for anything.”

There. Nailed it.

“I just–“

“ _And_ you don’t have to exhaust yourself because of missions. You don’t have to let them boss you around. Get it memorized?”

“So… I shouldn’t stay, after missions?”

“Only if you want to. If you don’t feel like it, then don’t. And…” Seriously, someone give me a medal for apologizing without saying the word ‘sorry’ even once. I think I’m doing amazing, right now. I feel almost not-stupid again. “And if Zexion or anyone else has a problem with it, they can come talk that out with _me_.” I really think I nailed it, and his nod-smile is proving me right.

“So… this means ice cream, tomorrow?”

Look at the baby zombie, so excited for it… And to think that I _almost_ worried he might not be up for hanging out. ‘Course I knew something else might be up, I never doubted this for a second! And, to close the case completely and fully chase away worries that I never had, nothing better than a hug. Right? Humans love hugging, it’s a big thing between friends and it must be for some reason. Come to think of it, I can’t remember the last time I actually hugged someone… which only has me wrapping an arm around his shoulders all that tad bit faster.

Even though I clearly wasn’t bummed about it, I did miss how warm he is.

“Ice cream tomorrow, get that memorized.”

He smiles wider and leans into the hug, head on my chest, and it’s in times like this I realize how short he actually is – which works perfectly right now, because it makes it all the easier to tuck him under my chin. Listen, if he looks like an adorable puppy, I’m gonna snuggle him like one and that’s that on that. Nobodies may not have a heart, but no one ever said I can’t appreciate puppies.

“I’m sorry I interrupted your shower.”

“That’s fine, was almost done anyway. _You_ look like you could use one, though.” And scrub away whatever other marks Lexaeus may have left on him. For some reason, this has become important for my mood to fully recover.

He nods again and, as I pull my arm back to let him go, I’m just in time to notice it – the number engraved at the back of his neck. XIII. Of course, it’s the brand we all carry… my own is at the inner part of my right wrist.

For some reason, as I watch him leave my room, I can’t help but wonder if that porcelain skin feels as soft and smooth as it looks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned for the previous chapter, I'm gonna be tossing in my own headcanons now and then. In this chapter's case, it's the fact that every Organization member has their number tattooed somewhere. I will likely elaborate more on this in future chapters, so stay tuned!
> 
> And thank you so much for your interest and for reading all the way over here ♡


	4. Day 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, Soraaly here hoping you are all amazing!
> 
> For today's chapter... oh, what can I say for today's chapter! As usual, I don't wanna spoil anything so I'll just say that this chapter made me change the fic's rating and bump it up from Teen to Mature. And the rest you guys go and find out for yourselves >3
> 
> Happy reading!

You ever do something you regret later? Or… maybe not really regret, maybe that’s a strong word. But – something you never expected to do, something you didn’t _intend_ to do, but it happened anyway and you don’t really know how it came to be? Something that happens and then you stare at yourself on the mirror like _what the hell man??_

Yeah, it just happened to me.

And… now that it did, I kinda don’t exactly regret it but, at the same time, I kinda really wanna bang my head on the wall – to see if my brain cells fall back into place. In my defense, it was not planned… but maybe it’s better I start disentangling this mess from the start. To see if I can make at least a little bit of sense out of it.

And let me start with the good things! So… my reasons to complain have gone out of the window, as of late. I dunno if he felt my long-distance peer pressure or if it’s just a happy coincidence but, within the past week, Saïx has actually put me twice on missions along with Roxas. This, by itself, is a good thing.

The first mission was simple enough – just the good ole routine of destroying Heartless in order to collect their hearts. I gotta say, I never paid much attention to that, probably because _I_ can’t collect them anyway… but I didn’t expect it to be that interesting, I suppose. Strangely poetic, every time Roxas delivered a final blow and then you could see the heart breaking free from its dark prison and floating off to go join countless others within Kingdom Hearts.

Now that I think about it… maybe this mission explains a bit of what just happened to me. ‘Cause, like I said, I never really bothered much with the whole hearts thing. This mission made me start paying attention… and I’d be lying if I say it wasn’t also because of the way Roxas does it. It was my first time watching him wield that Keyblade of his, and – well, what can I say. It’s a beautiful thing to watch, indeed. I have no idea if it’s heavy or not, if it’s uncomfortable to use or not, but he does it so gracefully that it’s pretty much impossible not to be distracted by the way he swings it. The way his feet move at just the right time. The way he jumps up and around and everywhere like gravity doesn’t even bother him. Even the way he casts magic. Everything about the way he moves is so distracting.

Just so you don’t think I’m one for the shallow things only, though, there’s something else I noticed that day. We chanced to go by some kids goofing around, running and laughing and just having a good time… like any person who doesn’t have to be busy building a giant heart in the skies would be. Like any normal person. Or just like any person who _is_ a person. I digress… point is, it made me have to answer one of those Special Roxas-Tier Questions again, because our baby zombie apparently didn’t know what being friends was about. And he didn’t know what laughing was either, believe me or not. _The haha noises,_ he called it, and even now I think that’s the cutest thing.

Actually, I lie – it’s the second cutest thing.

The cutest thing is the moment I heard Roxas make the haha-noises for the first time. It may well be my new favorite sound, and I’m proud to say I was the one making it happen.

And, well… it could’ve ended at that, but ‘course it didn’t. We were paired up again today, and again at Twilight Town for the sake of beating the crap out of more Heartless – though, this time, not to gather hearts but to eliminate an actual threat. And… hell, what can I say. Have I mentioned that watching Roxas with his Keyblade in hand is a beautiful thing that everyone should pay for? Take this and make it thrice as intense, considering we were pitched against a semi-decent opponent that didn’t allow much chance to beat around the bush. No idle going around town looking for weaklings, no… I got to see Roxas actually getting serious, and–

–And that was the start and the end of everything. We finished the mission without issues, we went for our ice cream together, we returned… and, a couple hours later, I was still helplessly thinking about it. Every time I closed my eyes, I’d see the way his brow creased in concentration. I’d see the small drops of sweat running down the side of his face – I even caught one running down the back of his neck, right over the number XIII. I’d see his body swaying with every quick move, I’d hear the rustling of his leather cloak, I’d smell the adrenaline in the air. It got to the point where my own adrenaline, let’s call it like that, was shooting through the roof and I couldn’t stop thinking about it… and this is the story of how I ended up doing the thing I’m right now still trying to process.

Again, in my defense, it’s not my fault that I’m not the most patient of persons. I’m bad at waiting, I’m bad at not acting on my gut feelings, I’m probably even worse at doing impulse control… and it happened. Next thing I knew, my black coat was flying away and I had a hand in my pants. But the pants also didn’t last much longer and, just like that, I was sprawled naked on my bed – touching myself and thinking of Roxas during that battle. Eventually… thinking of Roxas, in general. His haha-noises, his smile, his warm hands, the number at the back of his neck, his body covered by his own coat that leaves such a nice view of his collarbones, what it might be like to touch that body as well… to have my hands all over it, then my lips, the sweet noises he’d make as I did that, and then–

…Let’s just say I don’t wanna talk of how quick that made me cum.

_I can do a lot better than that._

But yeah, here I am now… you see my dilemma? I didn’t plan for this to happen, I don’t really regret that it happened ‘cause it felt fucking amazing, but… I dunno. It’s strange, that’s probably the best I can call it. Strange and unexpected. Roxas was supposed to be the adorable puppy you wanna care for and keep safe, and suddenly I’m realizing that maybe he’s a lot more than that. Maybe there’s still a lot more sides to him I’ve yet to learn about, and… and this is really nice. It makes my belly tingly, and not only because I’m right now wiping it clean of the sticky mess I just made. It’s really nice, this thought of having something to look forward to – as if learning more about Roxas actually may be a good reason to get out of bed in the morning and push through the day.

“Axel?”

On the other hand, if he keeps startling me like this, I won’t have anything to look forward to because my soul will jump out of my body sooner than later. …Goddamn it. Adorable puppy or not, he moves as silently as a cat. So, trying to keep whatever bits of composure I have left (spoiler alert: it’s not many at all), I give my best attempt at sounding completely normal and casual.

“…Roxas. Hi.”

“Hello again. Are you busy?”

You know all the things I say that I really like about Roxas? One of them is also how this is the second time he’s run into me completely naked, but he never questions it. That, somehow, this is a normal thing for normal people to do, in the baby zombie’s mind. I’m not sure why I really like it, but I really do like it.

“Huh… no! No, not really… I was just–“ _Thinking about if you also are always naked in your room, and maybe this is why it looks normal to you._ “…Y’ know what, never mind. I’m not busy at all! What’s up?” Actually it is a really good thing he only walked in now, and not five minutes ago.

“Well… I was just talking to Saïx, asking if tomorrow we could do our mission together again – and he said you can’t, because you’re leaving.”

And, just like this, I go from awing inside at how he wants us to be together again to realizing I’ve yet to break the news to him. Suddenly, I have a lot of reasons to complain again. It’s just my luck, ain’t it? With a sigh, I fold my arms over my chest and avoid his eyes for the time being – not wanting to ruin my post-orgasm good mood with the shade of worry I already saw there.

“Yeah… there’s a big mission coming up. Sorry I didn’t tell you yet, it slipped my mind.” I didn’t _want_ to tell him. Maybe if I didn’t tell him, I wouldn’t have to go. Clearly, that’s not how the real world works.

“Oh… So… no ice cream together, for a while?”

“Afraid not. A few of us are being stationed at Castle Oblivion.”

“Castle Oblivion?”

“Mhm. It’s another of the Organization’s castles, located in the world between worlds. We’re going to–“ There’s also no point in telling him the whole story, is there? I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it, myself – that possibly there’s a traitor or many among us. That Lord Xemnas himself expects me to find said traitors and dispose of them. How would I even put this into words? Nah, it’s better that I don’t… no point in getting the baby zombie worked up. “There’s a lot to do over there, so I’m gonna be away for a while.”

“I see.”

“Hey, look on the bright side… Larxene’s going too, so you’ll be free from her.” Thankfully, this brings the smile back to his face. Go me.

“I’m gonna miss you, anyway.”

“I’ll be back before you know it.” And, no, I’m totally not blushing because I just heard him saying he’s gonna miss me. I’m _not,_ and anything else is lies and slander!

“I have something to show you, before you go.”

Maybe my not-blush is the reason why I not-panic and don’t really listen to what he’s saying, all of a sudden. And only now I notice he has something in his hands, that at my first and only glance looks like one of those ice cream sticks… is this what he wants to show me? Regardless, I prove yet again that, when I say I have -23 impulse control, I’m not even kidding. Either way, it’s also a perfect excuse to wrap my hands around his smaller ones.

“Show me when I’m back. This way, we’ll have something to look forward to.”

This whole looking forward to things is hitting me pretty strong, isn’t it? Ironically, it’s not like I’ll need this stick anyway. More than anything, I’m already looking forward to see Roxas’ smile again.


	5. Day 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, Soraaly here hoping you are all taking care!
> 
> Boy... there is a lot to unpack in this chapter, as you guys can see if you look at the new updated tags... so, as usual whenever there's bombs about to drop, I'll meet you at the end of the chapter notes :')
> 
> Happy reading!

If I could feel, I would feel bad for this girl.

This witch, as Marluxia calls her.

So much depends on her powers and, man, does she have impressive powers. You look at her and think it’s just a cute little girl doodling some random stuff, but the sort of magic she can pull off through those drawings… it’s something else, and I’m not ashamed to say she creeps me out. To think that she might just decide to sketch me instead and, by doing that, she’d change everything I got memorized.

Still, she’s walked right into Marluxia’s mind games and is playing along like a sweet puppet on strings. Guess I can’t really blame her, considering he threatened to keep her locked in here forever… Castle Oblivion isn’t the most exciting of places. Doesn’t mean I’m happy with being put on baby-sitting job, keeping an eye on her to make sure she won’t run off and ruin everything. I’d much rather be back down there, keeping an eye on Sora instead.

He’s a damn interesting kid. Probably the same age as Naminé, but no way Marluxia would be able to get him to cooperate that easily – if at all. Which is why this sneaky plan is needed, to bring him to our side without him realizing. Guess I’d kinda feel bad for him, as well… after all, _he_ is the one having his memories toyed with. I don’t really consider him an enemy, more like we’re on different sides of this whole mess. He’s light, we’re darkness. He wants to find a friend that he’s lost, we want to have a heart of our own.

Or, well… Marluxia wants more than just that – he wants power. Wants to become the new Superior, wants to be the one claiming Kingdom Hearts and harnessing its power. Not to brag, but finding out he’s the traitor and confirming Saïx’s suspicion wasn’t hard at all. What’ll be hard is to figure out if anyone else is in on it with him, and who that is. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m endlessly devoted to Xemnas, our Lord and Savior, and to me it doesn’t really matter who gets to Kingdom Hearts first, provided we still get to it anyway. But I don’t like deceitful little shits and people who stab their companions in the back.

Maybe this is also why I don’t like the idea of manipulating Sora like this.

I’d much rather fight him again and win fair and square, as it should be. Yeah, you can go and call me reckless, I don’t care. Do you know how hard it is to feel some sort of thrill, when you don’t have a heart? I felt it while fighting Sora, though, and it felt fucking amazing. Even if I was holding back and had to let him win, because that’s what the plan required, it felt fucking amazing. Hell… even if _he_ kicked my ass again in the end, that would still be better than playing from the shadows like this. That kid’s got fire in him, and I can definitely respect that even if our goals are opposites.

And the way he wields that Keyblade… yeah, ‘course I noticed the similarities, too. I may not look it, especially to Marluxia, but I’m not stupid. When you lose your heart, you become a Heartless. If you have an exceptionally strong will, you’re reborn as a Nobody. It’s the case for everyone in the Organization… except one. The Superior of the In-Between. Xemnas is the only one who ever broke that rule and that’s exactly why he’s our leader – but this kid is apparently the same. Sora once became a Heartless for a short while, so it’s not surprising that someone with a spirit like his ended up producing a Nobody in the process… what’s surprising is that both he _and_ his Nobody can coexist. One didn’t have to die for the other to be born.

Yeah, it’s a mindfuck.

Guess at least now I know why Roxas is able to wield a Keyblade, too. Xemnas’ expectations for Roxas are all too clear, so of course Marluxia wanted to go and find a Keyblade master of his own. In a way, even if I still hate this deception and having to put up with it, it’s a good thing Marluxia realized he’d have no chance at trying to use Roxas and came up with a plan B. I wouldn’t have been happy if he tried to use Roxas, to say it nicely. _Hands off my baby zombie._

“I hate this place!”

Well, good morning to you too, Larxene. The way she just barged in, slamming the door open against the wall, even made poor Naminé jump in place.

“Good to see you’re full of love and sunshine, as usual.” Totally worth it, even if she’s now glaring at me in a way that could freeze Hell over.

“Cut the crap, Axel. I’m telling you, next time Vexen gets on my nerves I’m shoving all those precious research papers of his down his throat!”

I roll my eyes so hard they almost slip into the back of my head.

“Have you both considered maybe _not_ acting like spoiled brats? Can’t believe I’m in a castle half-filled with kids and still they’re the ones setting the bar for maturity.”

Just like this, her hand is clenched tight at the front of my black coat and yanking me closer, and I can see Naminé flinching at the corner of my eye.

“How about YOU go deal with him, then??”

“I’d love to but, as you know, Marluxia has a very specific job for me.”

“Ugh! Fuck Marluxia and his jobs, I can’t stand him either! I can’t stand any of you!”

She’s a tough one to figure out, I’ll give her this much. When I got here, I was convinced she was in for betrayal as well… but, more and more, I catch her questioning everything Marluxia decides to do. When it comes to Larxene, you never know for sure if this means something or if she’s just being her usual self and antagonizing everyone else for the heck of it.

“What’re you complaining about anyway? It’s your turn to go meet Sora, which is the only interesting thing to do in here.”

“Yeah, big deal! Do you seriously expect me to lose on purpose against that brat??”

“We need him – Sora’s the Key. We need him if we’re gonna take over the Organization.”

Props to myself for being a damn amazing actor and saying this kind of stuff while keeping my perfectly casual expression. It’s a chance as good as any to prod at her and see where it leads, and my effort is not wasted. She lets go of my coat, and the shadow of uncertainty that suddenly takes over her eyes is a clear enough indicator.

“If Xemnas gets to know about this, we’re done for. All of us. We don’t even get to become Dusks.”

“Relax… how could he ever find out? Only if one of us would tell him.”

I can be a little shit when I want, too, and I can’t deny I love making her squirm inside like this. We’ve always had a relationship difficult to describe, maybe something as cliché as love/hate… but, this aside, she’s convincing me that she’s not happy with what Marluxia is trying to accomplish.

“…Whatever. Next time I go to the castle, I’ll tell Saïx he either calls Vexen back or I’ll punch him all the way back myself.”

“You were home?”

“Mhm. Had to go report about everything so far and to tell him that, _no_ , we haven’t found the stupid room yet.”

That is another mystery. I don’t know much about it, myself… all I know is that Lord Xemnas is eager to find something called the Chamber of Waking, which is supposedly hidden here somewhere in Castle Oblivion. All of us have been looking for it, in between the whole using Naminé to replace Sora’s memories, but no luck at all.

“Oh, by the way – you better get used to the idea of losing your little friend.”

Wait, what?

“What are you talking about?”

“I bumped into stupid Demyx on the way out, he told me Roxas collapsed during one of the missions.”

I don’t know about Roxas, but I know my lungs just did collapse and momentarily forgot how to breathe.

“…What do you mean, he collapsed?”

“Axel, please. I always took you for one of the few smart ones here. You really gonna let me down like this?”

The mention of Roxas seems to have caught Naminé’s attention as well – she’s timidly peering at us from behind her sketchbook, and she’d probably ask about what’s going on if she wasn’t terrified of us. And it’s a dick move on my part, because she might have liked to hear what’s going to follow, but I can’t take it. Have I mentioned that I have zero impulse control, and that it goes into the negatives when it comes to Roxas? Standing up, I take Larxene by an arm and drag her out of the room, completely ignoring her complaints and flailing.

“What happened to Roxas?”

“What the hell is wrong with you??”

“Larxene–“

“Look, I dunno! I told you what Demyx told me – the kid just went _poof_ , passed out during a mission and hasn’t got up yet. Apparently, he’s been out of it for a few days.”

It’s really fucking unfair that I don’t have a heart and still I can feel it sinking like a heavy rock tossed into a lake.

“But… what happened? Was he alone? Did he get attacked?”

“Do I look like the local newspapers to you? If you wanna know more, you go and ask. I don’t care anyway, that kid’s just annoying. He’s so dense and doesn’t have any common sense, and he’s only useful because of that stupid Keyblade. He’d be nothing without it.”

I only realize I’m still holding Larxene’s arm because, all of a sudden, my fingers are so tight around it that my knuckles turn white.

“Shut up! What the hell do you know about Roxas??”

Of course, she doesn’t give me the satisfaction of looking pained. If anything, a wicked smirk that I know all too well takes over her lips.

“Awww Axel… you’re mad about your precious little friend? I get it, who else are you gonna stare blankly at walls with! Who else are you gonna teach the simplest things in life to, like how to tie his shoes and how to say please and thank you… it’s really gonna be a tragedy if he dies on you!”

“…SHUT UP!”

I wish she would fucking yell back, I really do. Then I’d have an excuse to burn that smirk off her pretty face… but, again, she’s not here to be anything other than the bane of my existence. Her hand moves up and, for a second, I’m seething so much I don’t even notice – only when she leaves it on my face, cupping my cheek like she even has a right to it.

“You’re really hot when you’re angry, you know that?”

…Goodamn it, Larxene. This is not a time for flirting, not when I want to rip you a new one for being a bitch. I let go of her arm, because this chat is over and actually I wish it never started, but it’s her turn to have none of it. Next thing I know, her lips are on mine and I’m dumb enough to gasp in surprise, and that’s how her tongue gets in my mouth. And…

And I kiss back.

It’s an instinct. It’s my body betraying me because I _am_ still mad at her but, damn, this feels good. Us, Nobodies, we don’t get many chances to feel good, either. And I can write a long list with all of Larxene’s flaws, I’d probably even run out of paper, but she’s attractive. She’s gorgeous and she’s bold and she knows what she does, and she’s got a way to make my skin feel like it’s tingling with electricity. I said we have a sort of love/hate thing going on, and this is exactly how it plays out – we argue, we get at each other’s throat, we make out like nothing happened, we move on, rinse and repeat. It’s infuriating and my life would be so boring without it.

“…I hate you.”

“I know you do.”

It should be illegal for someone to be so cheeky. She steps back with a wink and disappears into the dark corridor, and my fist smacks the wall beside my head before I even move again. It stings and that’s great because _I deserve it for being a freaking idiot._

I really hope Sora will mop the floor with her face.

And I practically drag my feet, returning to the room, having forgotten Naminé exists up until the moment I flop back on my chair and fold my arms – ready to sulk for the rest of the day.

“You… are worried about him, aren’t you?”

This is exactly why I’m going to sulk. If I can’t do anything about it, at least I can sulk.

“…He’s my friend.”

“I’m sorry, it’s my fault.”

What’s she even on about? With no patience for riddles, I give her my best scowl and also my best questioning crease of an eyebrow.

“Roxas… he’s a part of Sora. They come from the same heart. Whatever I do to Sora will have consequences for Roxas as well, even if it’s in a different way.”

…Okay, so actually this makes a lot of sense. I was questioning this like five minutes ago, before freaking Larxene stormed in – how can the two of them exist at the same time? There _has_ to be something to it, and apparently there is… though I’m not sure what. Are Roxas’ memories being messed up as well? And if Naminé succeeds in completely replacing Sora’s memories… what’s gonna happen to Roxas?

This room is suddenly stifling me.

“Be a good girl and stay put for a bit, I’ll be right back.”

If Marluxia walks in to find Naminé on her own, in the meanwhile, then hell with it. I need fresh air, I need to at least go out and stretch my legs and walk around and stop feeling like I’m drowning. I need to think of something that isn’t the possibility of Roxas never waking up again… but it’s like even the castle itself wants to mock me. These walls look the same everywhere – the same succession of white corridors, every floor a perfect replica of the previous. There’s no weird details for me to stare at as I walk, nothing that stands out and catches my attention and distracts me. It won’t matter what room I choose to hide into for a while, because they all look the same… so I just put my hand on the next door coming in sight, push it open, and walk in.

As expected, a room like all the others… _except it isn’t._

At all.

I mean… it is, but, at the same time, it really isn’t. And if I’m not making any sense, that’s because what I see as soon as I’m in, the door creaking closed behind me again, immediately makes me wonder if I’m seeing things. If I dozed off without realizing and am now dreaming. If I was so worried about Roxas that I’m now hallucinating. Because… what I see is Roxas. A large room with a throne in the middle… and Roxas sitting on this throne.

“What in the world…?”

I barely hear my own voice and, for a few seconds longer, my body is limp. What is he doing here…? Did they bring him here, to recover till he’s okay again? Finally, I regain control over my legs and make them move, and walk closer to the throne – half-expecting the whole thing to vanish into thin air as I do, but it stays. It’s real, it has to be real. And now that I’m this close… I start noticing the differences.

This boy looks exactly like Roxas, but the clothes are different. It’s not just that they’re obviously different from the Organization’s black coat, but… there’s something noble about this attire. Something almost royal. I’m also half-expecting the boy to wake up and likely point a blade to my face, but he doesn’t. He’s perfectly immobile, save for the very gentle swaying along with his steady breaths. Even as I kneel down by the throne, and press a hand to the side of his head as carefully as I can, there’s no reaction.

“Roxas…?”

He doesn’t reply, either, and I’m currently more dumbfound than I’ve been in my entire life. I’m actually feeling lightheaded, probably because I again forgot to keep breathing, and so I sit on the floor and lean my back on the side of the throne – closing my eyes for a moment. What is this room, what is this throne, who is this boy…?

Instead of answers, what my mind gives me is the faint sound of wood clattering along the ground. A piece of wood… no, a wooden sword. A wooden Keyblade, to be accurate. It was so light when I picked it up, it was more like holding a toy. Who plays with wooden swords, right? Wooden chakrams were so much cooler!

_I’m Lea! Got it memorized? What’s your name?_

“…Ventus.”

If he doesn’t wake up even after I practically bounce back up, smacking my elbow on the side of the throne in the process, he must really be comatose. But this boy… he’s the same one, isn’t he?? The same boy that I met such a long time ago, at Radiant Garden…? Well – the same boy that Lea met. Lea is dead. I’m not Lea. Unlike Roxas, I can’t coexist with my human self. But speaking of Roxas… man, they are identical! They really are, except for the clothes… Why does Sora’s Nobody look exactly like a boy my human self met over a decade ago? Why is Ventus here? Is this…

…Is this the Chamber of Waking? Is this why Xemnas is so interested in finding it? But, even if it is, what can Xemnas possibly want with Ventus? He sure doesn’t look like a lot of use, snoozing like this… though just looking at him, now that I recognize him, again makes my chest heavy. Whatever happened, he’s here all alone in such an eerie place… how long has he been here? Who brought him here, and why? Why won’t he wake up? How come we never found this room up until now, considering we’ve examined the entire floor so thoroughly?

Sheesh… I really need to stop asking questions, ‘cause clearly I ain’t getting any answers.

But there’s a decision to make, I can’t run from it. Assuming this _is_ the chamber… do I tell Saïx about it? Isa was there, that day… will he still remember Ventus? Will he _care_ about what happens to Ventus, whether he remembers or not? If I don’t tell… then I’m gonna be no better than Marluxia. I’m gonna be disobeying direct orders from the Superior himself.

Somehow, putting things into perspective like this helps me quickly making my choice.

Xemnas may be our superior, but he’s not my friend.

_Ventus was Lea’s friend._

With a final glance, I pat his fluffy golden head and turn around, and leave the room as quietly as I entered. Just to make sure, I then open the door again… and, as I suspect, it’s gone. The Chamber of Waking is gone, it is now just another empty room looking exactly like all the others.

Have I mentioned that today is being one mindfuck after the other?

Whatever, it’s better this way. If they want the chamber, they can go and find it on their own for all I care. I’m not telling a single soul about it. And this decision does make me feel better… but not entirely. The main problem is still left to be resolved – I’m stuck with not only one sleeping beauty, but two. Considering they look the same, I can only wonder who the heck is pranking me like this.

The wise thing to do now would be to return to Naminé and make sure she’s not gone missing in the meantime… so, of course, I do exactly the opposite of that. Glancing around the corridor to make sure I’m alone, I then open a dark corridor and enter, knowing very well where I have to go if I don’t wanna become the first Nobody ever to develop a stress ulcer. Ironically, this implies going from one bright white castle to another, and soon I’m coming out of the corridor again – in Roxas’ bedroom.

Yeah, if was unable to wake up Ventus, I doubt I’ll do any better now… but I have to at least see him.

And here he is.

No one’s thought of at least tossing a blanket over him to keep him warm, and it makes me roll my eyes. Though there’s a few little things by his pillow… seashells. Someone’s bringing him seashells…? They’re cute, I guess, and he’ll probably like to see them when he wakes up, so I sit carefully by the edge of the bed and away from them.

“Hey.”

It’s a bit nostalgic, even – throwback to when we first met, and he wouldn’t even talk. He doesn’t seem to be hurt anywhere, as far as I can see, so at least that’s a relief. …I’m trying really hard to stay civil about this, aren’t I? I’m trying to hold back this sudden urge to yell at him to wake up, to grab him and shake him till he opens his eyes. _What the hell, Roxas._ Who said it’s okay for you to put my stomach in knots like this? Now that you were finally getting from creepy baby zombie to adorable baby zombie, now that we were becoming friends for good, now that I… I… did certain things while thinking about you, and may or may not have wondered about doing other sort of things _with_ you… You’re gonna go and leave me like this?

Leaning over, I leave my hand on top of his and finally, ever since this whole day started, I find a reason to smile – it’s warm. It’s so warm. It’s warm enough to spark my own fire, and make me go for one of those impulses that maybe I’ll regret later but that I’ll regret much more if I don’t do it. It’s nothing bad, anyway… it’s just my overwhelming need to be selfish for a little bit, to try and kick this sense of dread away. So I inch closer, I carefully slip my arms under him… and bring him up, till he’s snug against my chest. There’s still no reaction at all, not even a sound, his head lolls onto my shoulder and stays there – but it’s good enough for me.

“ _You’re gonna be the death of me._ ”

My deep sigh ruffles the blonde strands at the back of his head, so I smooth them down again with my free hand. I can’t tell how long we stay like this, but I know the moment I decide to go back comes all too soon. If I want to find a way to fix him, I can’t have Marluxia deciding to cut me out of the plan because I let Naminé run away… and if I want to also help Ventus later, I can’t have Xemnas deciding to turn me into a Dusk because Marluxia cut me out of the plan. Is this what being a responsible adult feels like?

Forcing myself to move, I lay him on the bed again and am really tempted to go to my own room and fetch one of the covers for him… but that would be a dead reveal that I was here, wouldn’t it? So I have to be content with fixing the pillow under his head and that’s it. Though… before leaving, there’s nothing and no one to stop me from smoothing back his bangs, so I can leave a kiss on his forehead.

“If you’re not up and running by the time my mission’s over and I’m back, you can damn well be sure I’m gonna kiss you awake. Like a princess in a fairy tale.”

I said what I said. No regrets.

He better get it memorized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oop. Where do I even start.
> 
> First of all, I really wanted Axel to be with Roxas during his blackout period, because canon robbed us of this angst and therefore I am providing. Second of all, I also really wanted Axel to meet Ventus in the Chamber of Waking, because............ because I can, basically >_> Because there is never enough feels. 
> 
> But let me also explain this a bit better - because how did Axel do this when no one else could, not even Master Xehanort? I took inspiration from Harry Potter and from the Room of Requirement, in that 1) Axel was able to find the chamber because he was in great need (in the case, he really wanted to help Roxas, and Roxas and Ventus are connected through Sora). On the other hand, I built on the fact that Master Eraqus describes that place as being neutral ground. So 2) Axel was able to bypass Aqua's barrier (without destroying it) because his intention in regards to Ven was a neutral one, he didn't want to use Ven for neither good nor bad purposes. These two things put together allowed him to find the chamber that one single time, in a very precise balance (which is also why the barrier is active again when he tries to go in the second time - because, by then, his intention towards Ven had become a good one). Does this make sense? I hope so because I am quite happy with the way it turned out!
> 
> Other than this... there's also the tension between Axel and Larxene. I have a few ideas for future chapters that have to do with her, so this is why I decided she's not part of Marluxia's scheming and therefore she will survive Castle Oblivion and return home with Axel.
> 
> Whew, this really /was/ a lot to unpack!  
> Hopefully you guys enjoyed all the plot twists, I sure had a lot of fun writing it! ♡


	6. Day 71

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, Soraaly here! Hope you are all doing amazing & great :D
> 
> Today we have a tranquil and cute-but-also-feelsy chapter, but I gotta discuss something first. I struggled a bit with this chapter, and I eventually realized why... because writing this from Axel's POV wasn't doing it for me anymore. It worked well for the first chapters, but now that Roxas is gaining more and more agency, I feel like it would be really limiting if I also didn't start exploring his own side of things (especially because his reactions are so different than Axel's). So, from this chapter on, this fic is written in third person instead. I apologize, because I know it's awkward that I start it in one way and suddenly change it, but I really wanna provide the best writing I can and so this is the best choice ♡
> 
> Happy reading!

The view from the top of the clocktower was always the same and, at the same time, always changing. Same buildings, same layout, same colors… but all the people down there went about their business in different ways, every day. Some entered the café and walked out with a bag of sweet treats. Some waited in line for the tram to come back around. Some pinned posters on the walls, or delivered mail, or put on a show with a big, bouncy ball. Some just wandered around, with no real destination, chatting and laughing with friends.

Roxas liked to watch them, and he also liked to imagine what it must feel like – to always be so busy. Not that _he_ wasn’t busy himself, always having at least one mission to get done every day… but the humans had a different kind of busy. The humans had a way of getting busy even in the absence of orders to follow, and that intrigued Roxas as much as it captivated him. How come they could always find something to do, without having someone like Saïx to give them a list of objectives to fulfill? It was something he would like to experience, at least once. This sort of purpose, of meaning.

With a sigh, he pulled the ice cream out of the wrapper and gave it a first lick, enjoying the sweetened salty taste it left on his tongue.

It was going to be the uneventful type of evening, apparently. Xion was out in another world for her own mission and likely wouldn’t be returning so soon, and Axel… well. Axel was still at Castle Oblivion, at the best of chances. Saïx had been very clear when confirming that there were no survivors, so the logical thing to do would be to believe him… yet Roxas felt like, if he did, if he believed that Axel was dead, he wouldn’t be able to keep breathing. He didn’t even know what to call this sensation, but it was like someone had opened his chest and shoved a bag of heavy bricks inside, before stitching it back together.

When a human lost their heart, they would become a Heartless – and, when that Heartless was freed by a Keyblade, it would become a part of Kingdom Hearts. This is what he’d learned, during his first missions with the Organization. So… in a way, it didn’t sound so bad. A heart could find a place to be, even after death. But what about those without a heart? What about everyone who might have died in Castle Oblivion? What about Axel…? Where was he now, if he really did die? Was he bored? Was he lonely?

Glancing down, Roxas realized he’d been so lost in thought that the ice cream was melting on his hand, leaving tiny sticky drops of blueish goo on his black glove. Before he had a chance to start cleaning it, though, a voice coming from behind him had him freezing in place.

“Spacing out, as usual?”

If Roxas had a heart, it might well have just popped through his ribs and jumped out of his chest. He glanced over his shoulder, half-wondering if he’d imagined it… but no. _It was really Axel._ Axel was right there, merely a few steps away from him, hands on his hips and a big grin on his face.

“Hey, you look like you just saw a ghost! Don’t you fall down the tower on me, how am I gonna explain that to Saïx?”

To be fair, Roxas did feel like he might, given the way his head was spinning all of a sudden. Letting the ice cream drop to his lap and then somewhere to the side, he scrambled up to his feet and practically bounced over the distance between them, all but throwing himself at his friend in a tight hug.

“Axel!! You’re here!!”

So much enthusiasm did catch Axel by surprise, though he couldn’t even begin denying how happy he was that Roxas seemed to have missed him so much. He caught the smaller boy in his arms and clung back just as tightly, heaving a big sigh of contentment as that fluffy blonde head snuggled into his chest. He’d missed this, too… he’d missed this so freaking much. He’d missed _him_.

“I am… About time, right?”

“But–“ Roxas looked up eventually, with those big curious eyes of his, and Axel felt himself melting as much as the ice cream did, just from being stared at like this. “Saïx… he said that no one made it back from Castle Oblivion.”

Well, of course he did. We can always count on Saïx to brighten up our day.

“ _The weak ones_ didn’t make it back. I did. And so did Larxene.”

“So… everyone else is gone?”

“Yup.”

Roxas’ expression darkened for a moment – it still left him with an uncomfortable sensation inside, to lose their comrades like this. To realize that death was something so final… so absolute. Soon, though, he was focusing on Axel again and his brows creased in a semi-heartfelt glare.

“I was so worried about you! I thought I’d never see you again! Couldn’t you have said something sooner??”

This reaction, in turn, had Axel widening his eyes in astonishment. He wasn’t about to comment on how Roxas had looked genuinely sad over the news – Nobodies couldn’t feel sad, not truly, but Roxas had always had this sort of sensitivity to him, for some reason. But, by far, he’d not expected to be _scolded_ like this. He’d not expected to have been so missed that Roxas was actually borderline throwing a tantrum over it. And it did flatter him beyond words but, of course, feeling things and processing the things he felt weren’t his specialty… so Axel responded back with fire of his own.

“Hey, I did what I could! I haven’t even reported that I’m back yet, I came here to find you before anything else!”

“…Really?”

“Mhm. Larxene went on ahead. And why were _you_ worried, anyway? Do you know how worried _I_ was, when I was told you blacked out and you didn’t wake up for I don’t know how many days?”

Thankfully, for the sake of Axel’s big mouth that’d just spilled the beans so spectacularly, Roxas wasn’t aware of the implications. Wasn’t aware that Axel was never supposed to have been there to visit him in his sleep, to begin with.

“Oh… that. That doesn’t count. I was just sleeping.”

Of course. Leave it to the baby zombie to be oblivious to the fact he’d actually been comatose, and take it for a nap only.

But – he’d recovered, now that Naminé was working on putting Sora’s memories back together, and Axel had no doubt that both things were connected. Actually, this was just the tip of the iceberg… because Roxas being Sora’s Nobody didn’t even begin explaining why he looked exactly like Ventus. Nor did it explain why Ventus himself was sleeping somewhere in Castle Oblivion, or why the Chamber of Waking was so important to Xemnas. And, to loop back around, there was also no explanation as to why Roxas and Sora could exist at the same time. Still so many things that Axel didn’t understand, still so many questions but no one that he could go to for answers… That damn castle was more like a huge jigsaw puzzle, with pieces missing everywhere.

Good thing he wasn’t there, anymore.

Good thing he was here now, back with his baby zombie.

“And I was just out on a mission. We’re even.”

Roxas’ lips curved into a pout for an instant, clearly not convinced that both matters were equivalent in being worthy of concern (and, really, no being who lacked a heart had the right to look _this damn cute_ ), but soon he broke into a smile again. Letting go, he grabbed Axel’s hands instead and tugged him along to sit on their usual spot.

“Then tell me about it! What was the castle like? What did you have to do?”

Axel followed along, swinging his legs over the edge of the building, but made himself buy some time by getting entertained with peeling off Roxas’s sticky gloves. Just like he used to, during the first days… but so much had changed, since then. And how was he supposed to share any of it? Did Roxas even know that Sora existed? Was he even aware of what he was to Sora?

“You… have changed a lot, you know that?”

This was the easy way out. To change the topic to something else entirely, and hope for the best.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you’re more extroverted now. More outgoing. Remember when I’d talk to you and you wouldn’t even answer back?”

It seemed like it was going to work.

“While you were away, I’ve been spending time with Xion. We started coming up here for ice cream after the missions, too – now she’s my friend, as well.”

“With Xion? Really?”

“Yeah! She’s really nice. Did you know she can use the Keyblade, like me?”

_That_ had Axel wondering. The Organization had sought a Keybearer for such a long time, and now they seemed to be sprouting all over the place? Nah, it was too convenient to be a coincidence… and, then again, no wonder Saïx hadn’t made a big deal out of Roxas going under. If Xion had kept collecting hearts while he’d been sleeping, then no doubt that was all that mattered to them.

“Does she, now?”

“And, while I slept, she brought me a seashell every day.”

Gathering his gloves to put them in one of his pockets, Roxas then fumbled in another to bring out a small, blueish colored shell.

“Isn’t it pretty? If you put it next to your ear, you can listen to the sea!”

He looked so proud of himself now, for pointing out such an obvious fact, that Axel couldn’t hold back his fond smile. At least not _everything_ had changed, if Roxas was still so easily entranced by the simplest of things.

“One day, I’ll take you to the beach – then you can see the ocean for real.”

“I dreamed about it, the other day.”

“About the ocean?”

“Yeah… there was a beach. There was a long patch of sand, waves breaking on the shore. There were footprints along the wet sand too, of people who’d been walking there. Palm trees, and a tree with strange fruits shaped like stars. And a boy and a girl were watching the sun set.”

Well… at least one of the questions was answered, after this. There _was_ some sort of connection between Sora and Roxas, whether they were aware of it or not. How else could Roxas have dreamed about a place that sounded so similar to Sora’s memories of Destiny Islands? Was this because of Naminé? Did this mean that, as she weaved Sora’s memories back together, Roxas would remember them as well? Did this mean that… Roxas would eventually fade and become just a part of Sora?

Again with sinking in a swamp of questions and doubts.

“Axel? Are you listening?”

“…Yeah! That sounds like a nice dream.”

“Are you sure you’re all right? You seem a bit out of it. Are you tired?”

Pursing his lips, Axel began playing absently with his coat’s zipper, just for the sake of having something to do with his fingers. Hell yeah, he was tired… if Nobodies could age, he was sure that damn castle would have left him with gray hairs, by now. But, most of all, he was tired of feeling lost. Tired of feeling like something huge was being set in motion behind his back, but all he could do was to wonder about it. Like a dog chasing his own tail.

“I’m fine… just worried about you.”

“About me?”

So much for keeping it to himself and pretend nothing was wrong. But, hell… if he’d let it out, he might as well ride the wave and save consequences for later. To stop torturing himself with so much thinking, and do what he really wanted to do.

And so he did.

Axel reached for Roxas’ hands first, simply holding them and enjoying that warmth he’d also missed so much. He then started leaning closer, almost painfully slow, almost inch by inch, head already aligning a bit to the side – till their lips met. And even something so plain, so chaste, was fire suddenly running down his spine. And if _he_ was fire himself… then surely this boy here was the gasoline that fueled him.

Roxas didn’t move, but he let out a quiet breath of surprise. One wouldn’t need to be a genius to see that he was puzzled by what was happening, given his characteristic lack of common sense… but he wasn’t reacting badly to it, at all. As Axel tilted his head further, Roxas did the same by imitation and, just like that, their mouths were now at the perfect angle.

Their lips touched again and Axel caught Roxas’ bottom one with his own, to gently suck on it, and this time the noise that Roxas made was less in surprise and more in delight – and, next thing he knew, Axel was unceremoniously tossing self-restraint down the station tower. One of his hands moved to Roxas’ face, cupping his cheek as he pushed his tongue past those sweetly parted lips. It explored inside for a moment, eagerly but without rushing, and he finished the kiss the same way he’d started it – with sucking on Roxas’ lower lip, though now rather more avidly. And Axel was entirely too pleased to see that, as he pulled back, Roxas himself was now leaning in – as if chasing the kiss, as if not wanting it to end.

That was definitely a stroke to the redhead’s ego.

That and realizing that, after taking Roxas’ first laugh, he’d just done the same to his first kiss. Frankly, it wasn’t even on purpose. It just kept happening. Like it was meant to.

“What was this…?”

“A kiss.”

“Is this something that friends do, as well?”

“No… this is– more than being friends. Kissing is something that lovers do.”

“Lovers?”

“It’s in the name, Rox – a lover is someone you love and who loves you back.”

“So… we kissed because you love me and I love you back?”

_Axel, what in the world are you doing._

_You’re digging a hole for yourself, you complete dumbass._

_Why are you talking about a sentiment that you cannot feel with someone who also cannot feel it?_

Luckily, Roxas was as talented at starting a groundbreaking existential crisis as he was at mending it. Not waiting for the reply to his last question, _he_ perked up and nonchalantly took Axel’s lips for himself again – and, yeah, it was unexperienced and clumsy and sloppy, but it left Axel floored all the same. Honestly, it should be illegal that someone could be so genuinely clueless and, at the same time, so boldly straightforward. Maybe one beckoned the other? What did he know, really.

All he knew was that he’d just kissed Roxas.

And Roxas had just kissed him back.

“Y’ know… I said I’d do this, if you weren’t awake by the time I was back.”

Apparently, it was also his official I-cannot-keep-my-damn-mouth-shut day.

“That you’d do kissing with me?”

_Do kissing._ It was Axel’s new favorite, after the haha-noises.

“Don’t suppose you know about fairy tales, do ya?”

“Teach me? Then you can do more kissing.”

Now it was impossible for Axel to hold back his smirk. His ego _was_ getting a kick out of this.

“You really liked that, huh?”

“Yeah! It made my tongue tingle, but not like ice cream… It felt nice and I wanna do it more.”

What a simple world this would be, if you could do things just because it feels nice. And, come to think of it… why the heck not? What was stopping them, really? It wasn’t like they had hearts to feel regrets with. But, then again… it’d be an unconvincing lie, if Axel said that _doing the kissing_ hadn’t just left him with the most delicious fluttering in his chest.

It was almost like Roxas made him feel like he had a heart.

Imagine that.


End file.
